Horniness has a way of helping people tolerate things that might sound silly in other contexts, so if he’s into it, your verbiage won’t matter too much as long as it’s not outlandish. Trust your muscle-the writing one, that is-and don’t worry too much about sounding ridiculous. Talk about sexual encounters that you’ve had with him. Tell him what you’d do if he were with you.
For real: Don’t pussyfoot with “sexy-flirty texts” that he could interpret as merely friendly or affectionate tell him you’re horny and thinking about him. You may have to set your rhythm to his.įrom there, keep it real. (Long-distance arrangements are, after all, major efforts.) After you get his reassurance, ask him if he’s interested in having any semblance of sexual contact when you’re apart and if so, what he’d like to try out. Could your man’s reluctance to engage signal some sort of broader relationship issue? It might be a good idea to check in and just make sure he’s still on board. I don’t want to worry you, but your letter worries me slightly. In bed, people are like parrots, in that some of them talk, and some not so much. So, what are your best tips for initiating phone or text sex? If your partner isn’t into those things, are there other methods you’ve found for maintaining a connected sex life in a long-distance relationship? And it may be that this is just straight-up not a thing he’s comfortable with, which is perfectly fine-I’ll just need to buy a lot more batteries, fast.
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I just don’t know how to start doing those things in our relationship, but I’d like to find some ways of maintaining our sexual connection as well as the emotional one while we’re apart. When we are physically in the same space, he tends to be a lot less verbally expressive during sex I, on the other hand, love to hear a partner talk about how good X or Y feels. I’ve tried testing the waters with statements that are sexy-flirty, but I don’t get much of a response beyond things like “I love you too” or “I miss holding you.” Those things are true, and I appreciate them, but I also want to get off when I talk to him. I worry that I’m going to sound ridiculous, or crass in a not-fun way, when I ask for it in the moment, because I can’t rely on physical chemistry to smooth over any awkwardness. When I brought up the idea before we moved, he seemed game, but now I’m not sure how to actually do it.